Decimalisation Ditched as Chancellor gets tough on EU

Today, the UK Government announced that they were ditching decimalisation and going back to pounds, shillings and pence immediately the UK leaves the EU on the 31st December.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announced the move at a hurriedly arranged press conference this morning.

He told gathered journalists that the UK had for too long bowed down to the EU. This was a time to take our sovereignty back. Decimalisation had not worked in this country. It was a foreign import. The British were far better suited to Pounds, Shillings and Pence. It was a far simpler system. More than that it was in our blood.

The government also announced the re-introduction of our centuries old weight system of Stones, Pounds and Ounces. A spokesman for UK Butchers said “Not before time. Our members were continually confused at having to divide and multiply things by 10.”

Source: Reuters. 1.4.20